Disclaimer: The views aired in the below articles are my personal views. No offences are meant towards other students of B Schools and placement committees (Acronym: PLACOM). Finally I also rely on the campus and placom for my placement in the arcade of corporate jugglery.
P.S. there are few metaphors which have been used.
B Grads --> Artists
Company hiring personnel--> à Producer and Directors or Dramatists
Company -->à Film
Job Profile--> à Role in a film
P.S. there are few metaphors which have been used.
B Grads --> Artists
Company hiring personnel--> à Producer and Directors or Dramatists
Company -->à Film
Job Profile--> à Role in a film
Hiring Process--> Stage Show
Acronym
Campus Placements--> CP
You must be wondering why I have written campus placements as a biannual show, so just to avoid the confusion, there are few B Schools which have got two intakes as in December and in June and as a result they have to place the students in corporate twice corresponding to two intakes.
These Campus placement (CP, all B-grads love to use acronyms and I am trying to be one of them) is like a stage show which are organized in all the B Schools which attract many producers and directors for the stage show from the corporate to hire some musketeers who could act on their will, at any time , any place. Since these stage shows are only ROI’s for the students, so these do have a divine place in all the Junior and senior artists (B Grads). Some of the B Grads compare CP with a BUS, every body wants to ride in this bus but no body knows where the bus is going and no body wants to miss it.
From the day one a student becomes B grads, he is continuously bugged up with this buzzword, placement. There are few PLACOM which will tell you lots of horror stories regarding the CP such that you might have few drops in your paints while sleeping and them dreaming about CP. Only one thing remains in air, network network and network. The immediate effect is that the number of friends in the orkut gets doubled and students will even start contacting the people whom they hated most. So please don’t get surprised when you get such pleasing mails from your so called friends.
Since this stage show is a coveted show, so a preparation and rehearsal is inevitable to make the show successful. All the B grads will put their hearts and soul for the acme performance in this show may come what. The preparation starts well in advance for the biannual ritual show for selling the uncooked pieces of fleshes as packaged meals for delicacies to the customers. The poor chaps, final semester B Grads (The official participants for the stage shows) are asked to read read and read. Forget about all the things, whether be a personal life or some times they forget even to sleep and other Maslow’s basic needs. For the final performance in the stage show, the B grads buy costumes which will be ironed and placed with utter care in fact more than their wedding dresses also. I have seen few B Grads who believe in optimum utilization of resources so they use their wedding suits for these stage shows. Before the grand finale, the rehearsal ism must and some times I mistook the practice shows for the final show and in fact I congratulated few of them and later they told they have come here for the mock show and then I changed my congratulations to all the best and wished them for doing better in their final stage performance.
The Stage performance on Day 1 is of utter reputation for the institute as well as for the corporate jugglers. Institute will boast of the number of artists who have been given roles (Placements) in their director’s or producer’s films (companies) after the flawless performance in the stage show.
The artists are told to mug up the ready responses to clichéd questions like ‘Tell me about yourself’ or why you have done your MBA in marketing while your previous work experience is in Banking. The simple question ‘tell me about yourself’ becomes so difficult that it takes almost 100’s hours of coaching from 10’s of people who give their expertise for the straightforward questions. Personally I believe that the answer to this simple question does not reflect any thing except that the director or producer (Interviewer) does not have time to go through the casting section of your script (CV). The placom makes sure that every artists who is giving the stage performance gets a role in any film irrespective of the shooting location (Company location), it could be Arab, China, Bahrain or some times even in Nigeria also. The placom also tries to lure all the directors and producers by telling about the quality of the food of the office canteen, the seating couches of lecture halls, and the qualification of hired faculties and some times even cleanliness of the toilets also. All the directors and producers come with a Jazzy and Flashy presentations (PPT- Pre Placement talks).
Before one to one performance, the group stage show (GD) is organised in which the B Grads who ate together, smoked together now become biggest enemies. After the blabbering in GD, the artists are shortlisted for one to one performance. The few of the rejected artists from GD shout, some cry, some drink and some even go to sleep and I wish that they get a silent sleep. In one to one, the artists who vomits with a perfection and shows that he will wear all the costumes given by the producers and directors is offered a role in the films. The B grads who has done master in marketing goes for IT Management and it is said that the artist has got multitude of skills. Artists get any role (Job profile) in any film (company) irrespective of his expertise. It is some thing like this that Ranjit(Bollywood Villain) gets a hero role. Need not to guess, what will happen with the film and hero but as of now both have got some thing to look forward.
The process of purchase –hire stage shows continue till all the artists get a role in films or some times even in TV Serials also. Artists jump from one selection to other, changing their career choices during the different stage shows. The stage show is a hard process and takes a toll on weaker artists and a visious circle sets in. The less confident artists is likely to forget his dialogues in the stage show and loses more hope. To rescue these artists, the placom come forward and make sure that all the artists have got a role.
These Campus placement (CP, all B-grads love to use acronyms and I am trying to be one of them) is like a stage show which are organized in all the B Schools which attract many producers and directors for the stage show from the corporate to hire some musketeers who could act on their will, at any time , any place. Since these stage shows are only ROI’s for the students, so these do have a divine place in all the Junior and senior artists (B Grads). Some of the B Grads compare CP with a BUS, every body wants to ride in this bus but no body knows where the bus is going and no body wants to miss it.
From the day one a student becomes B grads, he is continuously bugged up with this buzzword, placement. There are few PLACOM which will tell you lots of horror stories regarding the CP such that you might have few drops in your paints while sleeping and them dreaming about CP. Only one thing remains in air, network network and network. The immediate effect is that the number of friends in the orkut gets doubled and students will even start contacting the people whom they hated most. So please don’t get surprised when you get such pleasing mails from your so called friends.
Since this stage show is a coveted show, so a preparation and rehearsal is inevitable to make the show successful. All the B grads will put their hearts and soul for the acme performance in this show may come what. The preparation starts well in advance for the biannual ritual show for selling the uncooked pieces of fleshes as packaged meals for delicacies to the customers. The poor chaps, final semester B Grads (The official participants for the stage shows) are asked to read read and read. Forget about all the things, whether be a personal life or some times they forget even to sleep and other Maslow’s basic needs. For the final performance in the stage show, the B grads buy costumes which will be ironed and placed with utter care in fact more than their wedding dresses also. I have seen few B Grads who believe in optimum utilization of resources so they use their wedding suits for these stage shows. Before the grand finale, the rehearsal ism must and some times I mistook the practice shows for the final show and in fact I congratulated few of them and later they told they have come here for the mock show and then I changed my congratulations to all the best and wished them for doing better in their final stage performance.
The Stage performance on Day 1 is of utter reputation for the institute as well as for the corporate jugglers. Institute will boast of the number of artists who have been given roles (Placements) in their director’s or producer’s films (companies) after the flawless performance in the stage show.
The artists are told to mug up the ready responses to clichéd questions like ‘Tell me about yourself’ or why you have done your MBA in marketing while your previous work experience is in Banking. The simple question ‘tell me about yourself’ becomes so difficult that it takes almost 100’s hours of coaching from 10’s of people who give their expertise for the straightforward questions. Personally I believe that the answer to this simple question does not reflect any thing except that the director or producer (Interviewer) does not have time to go through the casting section of your script (CV). The placom makes sure that every artists who is giving the stage performance gets a role in any film irrespective of the shooting location (Company location), it could be Arab, China, Bahrain or some times even in Nigeria also. The placom also tries to lure all the directors and producers by telling about the quality of the food of the office canteen, the seating couches of lecture halls, and the qualification of hired faculties and some times even cleanliness of the toilets also. All the directors and producers come with a Jazzy and Flashy presentations (PPT- Pre Placement talks).
Before one to one performance, the group stage show (GD) is organised in which the B Grads who ate together, smoked together now become biggest enemies. After the blabbering in GD, the artists are shortlisted for one to one performance. The few of the rejected artists from GD shout, some cry, some drink and some even go to sleep and I wish that they get a silent sleep. In one to one, the artists who vomits with a perfection and shows that he will wear all the costumes given by the producers and directors is offered a role in the films. The B grads who has done master in marketing goes for IT Management and it is said that the artist has got multitude of skills. Artists get any role (Job profile) in any film (company) irrespective of his expertise. It is some thing like this that Ranjit(Bollywood Villain) gets a hero role. Need not to guess, what will happen with the film and hero but as of now both have got some thing to look forward.
The process of purchase –hire stage shows continue till all the artists get a role in films or some times even in TV Serials also. Artists jump from one selection to other, changing their career choices during the different stage shows. The stage show is a hard process and takes a toll on weaker artists and a visious circle sets in. The less confident artists is likely to forget his dialogues in the stage show and loses more hope. To rescue these artists, the placom come forward and make sure that all the artists have got a role.
Just wanted to tell one thing that CP is a bus and Day 1 is just the few front rows in the bus and even if we miss day 1 still we could get the place in the bus. And some times it might be a better idea to start our own BUS and then take the BUS for a CP(Campus Placement).
